frustration, stagnation

I will be the first person to admit that I can be impatient. I started doing Crossfit regularly a month ago; why do I still need to scale the WODs? Shouldn't I be able to leap in for the RX workout and kill it, every time? Why is my time or my score still in the bottom of the class? Similarly, I've been eating strict paleo for two whole weeks; why haven't I gotten smaller yet? I know that my expectations are ridiculous. I know that I need to give my body time to adjust to these changes and this new lifestyle. I know that it is completely irrational to want to see results after so little time and effort. And yet, part of me gets frustrated much more easily than is reasonable.

On May 17, the day I first cut my check to my Crossfit gym (and several weeks before I went full paleo), I took my measurements: 134 pounds, 28" waist, 38" hips, 22" thighs. This morning, one month later, I did the same: 137 pounds, 28" waist, 38" hips, 22" thighs. What does this mean? Probably that I've put on some muscle and not yet cut any fat. Does it mean that I'm a failure? Does it mean that I'm biologically incapable of losing fat? Does it mean that this lifestyle, like previous changes I have made, is not going to make any difference in my appearance? No, no and no. It means that after one month of doing Crossfit a few times a week and two weeks after going paleo, I've put on some muscle. That's all. The problem is that it's much easier to tell myself that logically than to believe it in my gut.

The encouraging part of this, though, is that my failure to budge the numbers hasn't made me want to quit, as it did in the past with other diet and exercise programs. Quite the opposite: I am more determined than ever to stick to my diet, continue going to my gym whenever possible and work on strength training more aggressively. Internally, I feel tons better: My digestive issues have largely gone away, I have more energy, I rarely feel hungry, and my skin is clearer. I feel increasingly powerful every day, and I am motivated by my progress in the gym to keep getting faster times and keep lifting heavier weights. I believe in this lifestyle in a way I never really did my chronic cardio and low calorie efforts. This makes sense to me, instinctively and intellectually.

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Last night, I ran 3.5 miles, the furthest I've run in several months. My time (36:11) was nothing special, but I was encouraged by the fact that I was running in a pack of 15,000 and spent about as much energy swerving side to side to get around people as I did moving forward. This morning, I met one of the Crossfit "girls," Annie:

50-40-30-20-10
double unders
sit-ups

I completed Annie in 9:12. The double unders were no problem. I was even able to string the first round of 50 together. The sit-ups took forever, though. I wasn't even sore; I just wasn't able to move any faster than I was moving!

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Finally, in food news, I am working on cutting my fruit intake to 1.5 servings per day. That's still a decent amount by a lot of paleo standards, but it's a pretty significant drop for me. I've also discovered that sashimi is the perfect paleo food: It's delicious, natural, protein-loaded and fatty, and I feel like a real cavegirl when I eat it.